Thursday, November 04, 2004

Curious George - A Swift Kick In the Nation's Balls

When I set up my blog yesterday, my intentions were to talk about anything and everything. Essentially, I did not want this to be a politically based forum. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that until I can flush the bitter taste from my mouth that is the Bush victory my thoughts will be predominately political.

I thought that today the sting would subside...At least marginally. What I have found is that I can liken what happened in this election to being kicked square in the nuts by a 400 pound gorilla - it hurts a little at first, but as the seconds tick by the pain quickly becomes excruciating. The biggest difference between getting kicked by the said primate and the victory by GW is this - once you get kicked in the nuts, all you have to do is bounce up and down on your ass for a few minutes and it is all in the past. I fear that GW winning a second term is going to have the United States bouncing up and down on it's ass for decades to come, trying to quell the pain in it's groin.

Hopefully this nation can begin to grow a set of steel nads to protect ourselves from the foot of Curious George.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

AXIS OF EVIL CLAIMS VICTORY!

Well, Congratulations America! You have now laid down and officially conceded defeat to the terrorists. Now before all of you overzealous conservative bigots begin to accuse me of being Un-American for accusing the Bush Empire for being terrorists, I need to state up front that this is not my contention. My contention is, that by reelecting George W. Bush, we have succumbed to fear. We have allowed his regime to scare us so badly that we put all of our other concerns aside to vote for the guy that promises to protect us from the boogie man.

I just wish for one moment, that common sense could have prevailed in this election. Can anyone out there truly state that they feel safer today then they did four years ago? If you can, I have a real hard time believing you. Airline screening is no better...the ports are no more secure...the mass transit systems in the cities still have major security faults that haven't been addressed. Not to mention the fact that the biggest dangers we face still stem from the poverty and violence that our cities are battling everyday.

We have ignored the massive economic issues that we face over the next four years and voted for the promise of ridding the world of evil. We all know people whose jobs have fallen victim to this administrations politics and poor choices, we are aware of the fact that this presidency is going to be able to appoint at least 4 Supreme Court Justices, we are all suffering from enormous gas prices...but we cast aside all of these concrete issues and we elect a cowboy intent blowing up anyone who doesn't accept our way of democracy.

We have mortgaged the future of our country on the basis of fear. And because of that, we have grated a resounding victory to those that look to bring harm to our country. Osama does not have to attack us again. His wrath and desires have been propagated by the very people that we have elected to protect us.

I truly hope that this country is ready to accept responsibility for allowing GW and friends continue on with their grand plan. I truly fear that we are about to face some of the worst times that our young country has ever experienced.

GOD BLESS AMERICA--we are going to need him more than ever!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

The Golden Arches and the Value of Real Estate

It is that super exciting time of year where we are all driven to hit McDonalds much more than we should...you know it is the annual Monopoly game. Unfortunately, I have found that the marketing power of this game entices me to hit the golden arches much more than the viewing of Super Size Me (great movie by the way for those who have yet to see it) reminds me to stay away. Fortunately, I only have to buy a diet coke to get the game pieces...and last I heard, diet coke is not bad for you!

Anyway, enough of my senseless rambling. The reason for all of this nonsense is more in the interest of science. AN experiment if you will. For years as a resident of the Right Coast, I was immersed in conspiracy theories regarding the annual Mickey D's Monopoly game. Rumor has it that they purposely distribute different game pieces to each coast. For example they may distribute all of the Boardwalk pieces in the east and possibly all of Park Place in the west. Now this does two things...first of all it causes all of Mid-America to feel very under appreciated and second of all it causes anyone to want to win to make a countless number of coast to coast trips looking for the hidden treasure.

What I am proposing is that we try to buck this axis of evil and their sinister plot to make America even more obese with the lure of winning wonderful prizes. Think about it...do any of you know anyone who has ever won anything in this game other than a free breakfast sandwich? So let's see if we can bring this thing to a halt...forget coast to coast flights and forget the states in the middle...hell St. Louis was only able to muster a measly two runs in four games in this last World Series...doesn't say much about Missouri now does it!

Here is how it works (I guess I could have skipped my tirade and got right to it, but I am pretty bored this morning) I am going to tell all of you what game pieces I need to win...if the conspiracy theory is true, those pieces maybe attached to the 87 ounce diet soda you have sitting in front of you right now...if you have them we can arrange to have them shipped to here to Medford, OR. You guys in turn will do the same...I know the Camplese family has a lifetime pass to McDonalds, so if anyone can help, it is you guys!

Here is what I am looking for:

Pennsylvania Ave
North Carolina Ave

Ventor Ave

Illinois Ave

Kentucky Ave

Tennessee Ave
St. James Place

Virginia Ave

Vermont Ave

Mediterranean Ave

Short Line RR

And of course, Boardwalk and Park Place!

Let's bring down this evil empire and take what we can from them...